college life | thesquirrel 8/11

susquirrel

Ask the Elder Squirrel

Answered By: Sophia Congdon Billy asks: How do I become the ‘big man’ on campus? Well Billy, buying stilts might be a good place to...

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SU Students Spread More Than Kindness… and COVID.

By: JULIE HEANEY AIKENS HALL, SUSQUEHANNA UNIVERSITY - This corona season, Aikens North side hall is following SU ResLife protocol by...

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SU Catches a Case of Kidnappings

By: SOPHIA CONGDON SUSQUEHANNA UNIVERSITY- Recently, dozens of students have been reported missing, taken from their beds in the middle...

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How to Do Your Part Amid the Coronavirus

By: LILY DURA When on campus keep an eye out for any suspicious characters that appear to have a mask below their nose or a camo neck...

Unpaid Intern

SU Board of Directors Proposes New Hiring System

The Susquehanna University Board of Directors have offered a new solution to hiring full time faculty while saving both time and money....

Julie Heaney

WARNING: They’re hydrated, BPA free, scrunchied out, and tired of your plastic-using bullshit.

SU Students: As “hot girl summer” transitions into spooky season, we advise all students to be careful and take safety precautions when...

Isabel Camaratta

PLS Behave

After the first week of classes, as well as a very useful weekend of basic socialization for the freshmen, a speech was given by Dr....

Malaika Olaoye

Poltergeists Pacify after Party at TRAX

I was granted special invitation to Rave from the Grave’s Halloween Party this year. It is an infamous club on campus, well known for...

Sophia Congdon

RA Tries to Make Bathroom Idiot Proof

SMITH HALL, PA – The environment of the bathroom on the third floor of Smith Hall could not be more user friendly. Due to a couple dozen...

Matthew Bamman The Fifteenth

President Green Seeks Death Penalty for Student Caught Plagiarizing

Tension has been at an all-time high on campus after Junior Morpus Florpus was caught plagiarizing on his midterm paper last week. To...

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