THE SQUIRREL

All over the internet, we see praises for the Divine Feminine...

Enough time has passed that I can finally be true to myself...

Forgive me Father, for I have Zynned...

In a world overrun by iPad kids and iPhone toddlers...

When I was asked to interview someone about their life...

Why the fuck did you stop putting CD players in cars? Why do we feel the need to have iPad screens everywhere ? Not only is this thing taking up the entire center dash, but it is so bright that I’m not sure if the light is from it or the asshole with the LED high beams coming at me. I couldn’t care less if ‘consumer demand’ declined, you are ruining my vibes and I hate you. Streaming services are convenient, yes, but I don’t want to listen to ads for half of my drive. I don’

The holidays have finally arrived, a time to be calm and cozy and fail the most difficult holiday game. Whamageddon. Now, if you for some reason have never heard of this game, which would make sense because we were barely sentient in 2010, let me explain it for you. Whamageddon begins on December 1st and goes until Christmas Day. The goal? Don’t listen to “Last Christmas” by Wham! the entire time. I know for a fact that I just lost so many of you, because apparently that is

Hey there, you crazy kids! Here’s my go-to playlist for a typical day at Susquehanna University! Bad Romance by Lady Gaga: Because of the time the chicken was raw-raw-rah-ah-ah. A.D.H.D. by Kendrick Lamar: For listening to with your football boyfriend, who probably can’t read full song titles. Water Fountain by Alec Benjamin: For when you watch your GBP crush hook up with your Smith roommate at an Alpha Sigma Oedipus open house. Hot N’ Cold by Katy Perry: The dorm buildin

I miss when movie musicals were good. This isn’t me trying to shit on the ones we have today, even though some of them are entirely questionable cough cough Cats . But to me these movies don’t have the same sense of magic that older ones do, and I am unashamed to admit that my favorite era of musicals is the Golden Age. These films are ones that I constantly come back to for some comfort and feel very nostalgic about every time I watch them. Sure they may run rampant with mi

Kidz Bop did a cover of “Tears” by Sabrina Carpenter and I cannot hold my tongue any longer. Get off my fucking lawn. Not all music is for children, and not all music needs to be appropriate for every age level. Stop it. And also, just because your kid listens to an artist does not mean they should, or that the artist has to make their music child friendly. Artists do not control their listeners. You are the parent and you are supposed to be monitoring what content your kid