Santa’s Hoe Hoe Hoe
By: The Coolest Bitches In Town NORTH POLE— It looks like the people fucking behind Weber aren’t the only ones making Santa’s naughty...
The Coolest Bitches In Town
Elf Union Strikes A Nerve
By: Sophia Congdon NORTH POLE As of today, hundreds of thousands of Christmas Elves have gone on strike. This is not to be confused with...
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Hanging by a Bowtie
BY: MAGGIE RITCHEY flee VP and Dean evade the prison fabled Selinsgrove, PA
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Squirrel v. Tortoise: The 1v1 of a Lifetime
BY: MALAIKA OLAOYE There was something so majestic about watching fights on campus, like when Squirrel (they/ them) and Tortoise (they/...
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A Petition to Susquehanna University
By: Squirrelphia Congdon Though the humans of SU may be blind to the tragedies happening under their very noses on this campus, us...
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SU Students Spread More Than Kindness… and COVID.
By: JULIE HEANEY AIKENS HALL, SUSQUEHANNA UNIVERSITY - This corona season, Aikens North side hall is following SU ResLife protocol by...
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SU Catches a Case of Kidnappings
By: SOPHIA CONGDON SUSQUEHANNA UNIVERSITY- Recently, dozens of students have been reported missing, taken from their beds in the middle...
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Boomers in Blackface: Trust Us, It’s Impossible to Tell Grandpa His Halloween Costume is Actually Su
SELINSGROVE, PA -- As Halloween approaches, people of all ages are once more launching themselves into the spirit of the season. Cobwebs...
Emma Kortz
WARNING: They’re hydrated, BPA free, scrunchied out, and tired of your plastic-using bullshit.
SU Students: As “hot girl summer” transitions into spooky season, we advise all students to be careful and take safety precautions when...
Julie Heaney
Local Selinsgrove Man Declares: “He isn’t Racist—He Just Wants to Avoid All Minorities at All Costs”
Local Selinsgrove man, John Whitteman, declares he isn’t racist, he just wants to avoid all minorities at all costs. “Yeah, I’m not...
Matthew Bamman The Fifteenth
