

Hey, Wanna Join A Kangaroo Pyramid Scheme?
Have you ever wanted to get away with murder? Well now you can! By joining a simple pyramid scheme concerning kangaroos, armadillos,...
Wacky Wally Wackford


Voting is a scam
Dear President and friends, I am sending this letter regarding this truly preposterous “electoral college”. In my research for this...
Bingus B. Berton


Camping In The Woods
I want to escape from the normal. I finally decided to change scenery.
Mary-Jane Magic




A Non-Comprehensive List of Things We Could Have Done Instead of Firing 18 People Genuinely WTF
By: squirrel hivemind Suck up more to the donors. Write off students as dependents on our taxes. Ask Joe Biden for money. Just call him...
susquirrel
THIS is the Problem in Philosophy
By: Liv Chartreau (chartreau@susqu.edu if anyone higher-up feels compelled) How much do you, dear reader, appreciate the major you have?...
Liv Chartreau


The End of “Comedy”
Congratulations! You, dear reader, have outlived the terrible publication that was The Squirrel.
quill Staff Writer


BREAKING NEWS: Benny The Riverhawk Gets Julius Caeser-ed in a Las Vegas Motel Room?!?!
Benny the Riverhawk, beloved mascot and former supreme leader of Susquehanna University, has been found brutally murdered in a motel room.
L’écureuil


An Open Letter to Scott Kershner
Hey man, remember that email you sent out ___ days ago? Yeah, I’m still mad about that.
susquirrel


WE FUCKING DID IT!!!
By: J Money Swag SELINSGROVE, PA- Kevin Hamilton has officially left the building. Like literally. He has left (with his bitch, Peter)....
susquirrel