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Elf Union Strikes A Nerve

By: Sophia Congdon NORTH POLE As of today, hundreds of thousands of Christmas Elves have gone on strike. This is not to be confused with...

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Hanging by a Bowtie

BY: MAGGIE RITCHEY flee VP and Dean evade the prison fabled Selinsgrove, PA

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Squirrel v. Tortoise: The 1v1 of a Lifetime

BY: MALAIKA OLAOYE There was something so majestic about watching fights on campus, like when Squirrel (they/ them) and Tortoise (they/...

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A Petition to Susquehanna University

By: Squirrelphia Congdon Though the humans of SU may be blind to the tragedies happening under their very noses on this campus, us...

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SU Students Spread More Than Kindness… and COVID.

By: JULIE HEANEY AIKENS HALL, SUSQUEHANNA UNIVERSITY - This corona season, Aikens North side hall is following SU ResLife protocol by...

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SU Catches a Case of Kidnappings

By: SOPHIA CONGDON SUSQUEHANNA UNIVERSITY- Recently, dozens of students have been reported missing, taken from their beds in the middle...

Emma Kortz

Boomers in Blackface: Trust Us, It’s Impossible to Tell Grandpa His Halloween Costume is Actually Su

SELINSGROVE, PA -- As Halloween approaches, people of all ages are once more launching themselves into the spirit of the season. Cobwebs...

Julie Heaney

WARNING: They’re hydrated, BPA free, scrunchied out, and tired of your plastic-using bullshit.

SU Students: As “hot girl summer” transitions into spooky season, we advise all students to be careful and take safety precautions when...

Matthew Bamman The Fifteenth

Local Selinsgrove Man Declares: “He isn’t Racist—He Just Wants to Avoid All Minorities at All Costs”

Local Selinsgrove man, John Whitteman, declares he isn’t racist, he just wants to avoid all minorities at all costs. “Yeah, I’m not...

Adam Unger

It’s Lit: Area Retirement Home to Screen All-Night Marathon of M*A*S*H

ROLLING HILLS, WA- Wheels are usually rolling at the Greener Pastures Retirement Center, but an announcement posted yesterday in the...

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