WARNING: They’re hydrated, BPA free, scrunchied out, and tired of your plastic-using bullshit.
SU Students: As “hot girl summer” transitions into spooky season, we advise all students to be careful and take safety precautions when...
Julie Heaney
Local Selinsgrove Man Declares: “He isn’t Racist—He Just Wants to Avoid All Minorities at All Costs”
Local Selinsgrove man, John Whitteman, declares he isn’t racist, he just wants to avoid all minorities at all costs. “Yeah, I’m not...
Matthew Bamman The Fifteenth
It’s Lit: Area Retirement Home to Screen All-Night Marathon of M*A*S*H
ROLLING HILLS, WA- Wheels are usually rolling at the Greener Pastures Retirement Center, but an announcement posted yesterday in the...
Adam Unger
Apples and Razor Blades: Is Halloween Too Safe?
Local kids everywhere are in an uproar this Halloween after it was discovered that none of the apples given out to trick-or-treaters this...
Ethan Yevelson
Fuck Spooky Season, It’s Christmas?
Selinsgrove, PA - In excitement for the upcoming holidays, the town of Selinsgrove is going all out with decor - but not in the way that...
Matthew Murry
Economic Boosts Caused by Kmart Blow-Out Sales
Local Kmarts around the nation have been closing down with enormous blow-out sales for the last seven years. One local liquidator said,...
Mitchell Roshannon
Candy Shortage Incites Riots in Selinsgrove
NOV 2 - What started out as a typical night of innocent Halloween fun devolved into madness and chaos late Saturday evening as young...
Alan Codner
