THE SQUIRREL

By: Your friend who's too woke By now we have all heard that Michael Richard Pence, a “famous” author and nothing else , is coming to speak here at Susquehanna University. It is amazing that SO many people were so desperate for this senile old fuck to come to our “lovely” renovated campus to speak about his book. That book, by the way, could’ve been written better by a 13-year-old Wattpad fangirl. So here is a list of people that I would rather have talk on campus than Mikey

Dear Campus Community, We here at SU are so excited to announce the beginning of a new project...

Does your school hate food and joy and you? Are you slowly wasting away...

Today at Beast Philanthropy™ we are fixing one of the worst dining services in America!

I swear every generation gets dumber than the last.

Let me cut to the chase: everyone on the planet has heard some variation of the word brain rot.

Fill a pan with water from your nearest brain eating amoeba water supply.

The ghost of reading comprehension past is going to haunt everyone without basic reading skills

I was supposed to die.

It’s been fourteen days since the prophet has opened my mind to new religious wonders.