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THE SQUIRREL

Susquehanna University's satirical news source

#ProtectTheNest

SusQAnon

The Nostalgia Edition

#ProtectTheNest

The official Susquehanna University instagram page made a post to commemorate the 7th birthday of their beloved mascot, Benny the Riverhawk

Top 5 Cryptids I’d Like To Fuck

A Devout Christian

The Monster Edition

Top 5 Cryptids I’d Like To Fuck

Top 5!!

The Monster Within

Kyle

The Monster Edition

The Monster Within

Monster Energy Poems

Go Piss Ghoul

someone who refuses to name themselves out of embarrassment

The Monster Edition

Go Piss Ghoul

Before I could gather my thoughts, the lights began to flicker violently, and then my life flashed before my eyes as the bathroom went black

The Bowl Again

The Crypt Kickers

The Monster Edition

The Bowl Again

(The Bowl Again)

Are Your Roommates Eldritch Horrors? Mine Are!

cryptid wrangler

The Monster Edition

Are Your Roommates Eldritch Horrors? Mine Are!

The first step in surviving is identifying which being has made its mark in your living space.

A Conversation of Equals

Squirrel Girl

The Monster Edition

A Conversation of Equals

Letters to and from Prez Green

WHERE THE BOWTIES COME FROM

John E. Dippshitte

The Monster Edition

WHERE THE BOWTIES COME FROM

I discovered a far greater, more terrible answer to a question I never knew I had: where President Green’s bowties come from.

Which Campus Housing is Most Likely to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse?

Res Life

The Monster Edition

Which Campus Housing is Most Likely to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse?

Here is the Squirrel’s definitive guide to which Res Hall would survive the zombie apocalypse.

A Step-By-STEP Guide to Doing Your Own Laundry

Your Step-Dad

The Style Edition

A Step-By-STEP Guide to Doing Your Own Laundry

Hey pal! Semester’s almost over huh? Your mother and I can’t wait to see you, but please feel free to stay at school an extra day or two.

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Latest Stories

It is Time.

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Thought????

Idolizing Celebrities Is And Has Been So Over

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