This Ain’t HGTV, Knock It Off
So—the university put some paint over the holes in Deg’s walls.
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THE SQUIRREL
Susquehanna University's satirical news source
BAE
Rating Campus Food
We all know how the food here is… you know, not… great! Well, here is a list ranking campus foods from worst to best!
Anonymous
Letters from a GO Student
The SU Squirrel received anonymous letters from a GO student on their trip which bring to light the new way these trips are being run:
Pfizer
What Happened To Masks?
In case you haven’t noticed, there has been a surge of COVID cases on campus and throughout the country recently. (Stay safe out there guys)
Dear God Please Help
Squirrel Meat (Squeat, if you will)
Warning: If you eat these recipes, you’ll probably die. Don’t do it. Or do, but don’t hold us liable, because we literally told you no.
The Gerber Baby
College Students Are Toddlers (Again)
This is ridiculous and I am going to cry about it.
Dua Lipa
Future Nostalgia
The year is 2033, and I’m back in my childhood bedroom visiting my parents for the holidays.
An elderly 20 year old girl
The (deg) Fountain of Youth
I start every day with 2 advil and stretches recommended by my physical therapist.
Dr. Cheatsonhiswifewhichledtoherkillingherself
How the grinch appropriated the holidays
Now you know how the grinch stole Christmas,
That is quite true.
But did you hear about how he stole the other ones too?
John E. Dippshitte
Raiders of the Forgotten Time Capsule
My editors demanded another magnum opus of me, or I would be fired from this distinguished rag.
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