

The Annoying Ordeal of Being Known
This campus is way too fucking small, and every one of us suffers for it every single day.
HELP!


5 Times Benny the Riverhawk has screwed us over
Benny is a POS sometimes, and I will not stand for this.
Tummy Full of Paint; Body Covered in Water.


This Ain’t HGTV, Knock It Off
So—the university put some paint over the holes in Deg’s walls.
The Property Squirrels


Rating Campus Food
We all know how the food here is… you know, not… great! Well, here is a list ranking campus foods from worst to best!
BAE


Letters from a GO Student
The SU Squirrel received anonymous letters from a GO student on their trip which bring to light the new way these trips are being run:
Anonymous


What Happened To Masks?
In case you haven’t noticed, there has been a surge of COVID cases on campus and throughout the country recently. (Stay safe out there guys)
Pfizer


Squirrel Meat (Squeat, if you will)
Warning: If you eat these recipes, you’ll probably die. Don’t do it. Or do, but don’t hold us liable, because we literally told you no.
Dear God Please Help


College Students Are Toddlers (Again)
This is ridiculous and I am going to cry about it.
The Gerber Baby


Future Nostalgia
The year is 2033, and I’m back in my childhood bedroom visiting my parents for the holidays.
Dua Lipa


The (deg) Fountain of Youth
I start every day with 2 advil and stretches recommended by my physical therapist.
An elderly 20 year old girl














