

Best Summer Ever Bucket List
If you do everything on this list you are guaranteed to have the best summer ever.
Kenzie Piacenti and Becky Wood


SU’s Next Mission: Achieve Lead Slay
BY: Ashlea Oakum As the Spring 2022 semester races toward its end, President Green is plotting one last “camp” to become an advocate for...
susquirrel


Movie Suggestions To Fuck Up Your Finals
With finals coming up many of us are planning to planning procrastinate studying and what better way to do that than by binging movies?
Becky Wood


Psychotic Milk Drinkers
I despise the white milk loving population
Just white milk in general
Highlighter
It’s a Polemic Essay, Bitch
I am not a film aficionado; I have never claimed to be. The sole parameters I have for a movie’s quality is whether or not I was entertained
A hot take that argues for one point while refuting the opposing view


If You Hate Valentine’s Day, You’re Just Bad at Being Single.
I’ve spent 18 out of my 19 Valentine’s Days alone and I’m doing just fine.
Val N. Tyne


Halloween Horror-scope
By: Sophia Congdon Aries: Don’t fistfight every trick-or-treater you see. Some of them aren’t in costumes. (Definitely make sure to deck...
susquirrel
Almost Ready! A rantoum (a modern rant pantoum)
BY: The Fall 2021 Forms of Poetry class Bruised, bloodied, and battered my legs will give out. With this empty hand and empty belly, an...
susquirrel
The New Year’s Resolution: A New Concept
By Malaika Olaoye With the New Year fast approaching, it’s a great time for people to start anew. I have come up with a BRAND NEW...
Malaika Olaoye
Top 3 Things that Babies Have but they Shouldn’t Have Because I Want Them and also Babies Don’t Pay
BY: Amber Martino According to numerous highly scientific and exhaustively thorough studies done by the, like, 3 neuroscience students...
Amber Martino














