susquirrel
3 Keto Recipe Ideas to Try this Spring
BY: KETOMAMA69 As we’re gearing up for hot squirrel summer and shaking off the winter quarantine blues, I have some recipes to share with...
susquirrel
6 Steps to Spring Cleaning Like a Badass
BY: MALAIKA OLAOYE It’s that time of year again. Time to put away the seasonal depression that can only be quelled by caffeine and...
susquirrel
Ask the Elder Squirrel
Answered By: Sophia Congdon Billy asks: How do I become the ‘big man’ on campus? Well Billy, buying stilts might be a good place to...
susquirrel
Finals Week Horoscope
By: Sophia Congdon (Aries sun, Pisces moon, Capricorn rising) Wondering what finals week has in store for you? The stars have all the...
Ethan Yevelson
The True Meaning of Halloween
While the true meaning of Christmas has been known since antiquity to be some bullshit about making other people happy or something, the...
Anthony Wojciechowsky
Study Suggests Men May Not Enjoy Rape
In a startling and controversial new study published this month, it was posited that it may be possible men do not necessarily enjoy...
Anastasia Farley
How to Make Your Kids Gay
In this day and age, gay is in fashion. Being gay is the new black (although the phrase “____ is the new black” doesn’t really make a lot...
Anthony Wojciechowsky
VAMPIRE BLOWJOBS SUCK: A critique of the cultural damages of liberalism and its socioeconomic ramifi
We live in an age where sexuality, the traditional domain of dominant, god-fearing men, has been occupied by the likes of the “feminazi,”...
Mitchell Roshannon
Economic Boosts Caused by Kmart Blow-Out Sales
Local Kmarts around the nation have been closing down with enormous blow-out sales for the last seven years. One local liquidator said,...
susquirrel
Instagram Releases Fake Boyfriend Filter for Valentine’s Day
Yesterday Instagram released of a variety of boyfriend filters for teenage girls and “hip” moms to obsess over. No longer do you have to...