college life | thesquirrel 7/11

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Res Life Employs New Hiring Practices

BY: Sophia Congdon Recently, there have been multiple sightings of even more mysterious than usual figures hanging around the campus...

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AΣO Raises Money for “Hot Single Moms in Your Area” with Haunted Frat House

By Amber Martino Alpha Sigma Oedipus was originally founded as a service organization, but that fell apart when they realized that they...

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One’s Student’s Week 7 Journey

BY: INSERT PSEUDONYM HERE <3 On a stormy Saturday night in October Sexual tension percolates in the air Students shriek in the darkness...

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Susquehanna Addresses Student WiFi Concerns

By Zach Slusser The IT Dungeon, Seibert Hall Student outcry at the condition of the school’s Internet connectivity has peaked recently,...

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Notice: New SU Partnership Creates Opportunity for RAs

BY: Zack Shiffman Attention all RAs of Susquehanna University! After the unforeseen patch of quicksand emerged and tragically swallowed...

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Operation WCOFUSMT

By Malaika Olaoye Since the mass extinction event fifty years ago, in the winter break between Fall 2021 and Spring 2022, things have...

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Hanging by a Bowtie

BY: MAGGIE RITCHEY flee VP and Dean evade the prison fabled Selinsgrove, PA

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The General Sack Association (GSA) Constitution:

BY: LILY DURA President Sack Vice President Schlong King Kong Treasurer Glizzy Gobbler Our club will be called the General Sack...

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Frat Bros and Hot Moms: A Match Made in Heaven?

BY: AMBER MARTINO Frat brothers love competition, but one Alpha Sigma Oedipus student broke a few eggshells when claiming his mother was...

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A Petition to Susquehanna University

By: Squirrelphia Congdon Though the humans of SU may be blind to the tragedies happening under their very noses on this campus, us...

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