Phuck Punxsy Phil’s Capturers
Groundhogs day is the stupidest fucking holiday I’ve ever fucking heard of.
J Money Swag
How about these gas prices?
By Amber Martino Do you know how humiliating it is to have to check the CampusDish website before ordering Starbucks? It’s The Worst. I...
susquirrel
BREAKING NEWS: Elon Musk has seven sons, what’s that about?
BY: Sophia Congdon Reports are flooding in that The Squirrel has just discovered that Elon Musk has seven sons and zero daughters. They...
susquirrel
Top Republicans Insist They Aren’t Fascists, Democracy Just Isn’t Their Thing
By: ZACH SLUSSER Washington D.C. - Many high-ranking Republican officials have come out today to repudiate claims that they are ardent...
susquirrel
China Appalled with “The Fascist State of the USA”
By: MATTHEW BAMMAN Beijing, China – In a joint statement with the Communist Party of China and the National People’s Congress, President...
susquirrel
Trump finally lowers golf handicap
Photo by Angus Murray, Golf Magazine November 25, 2017- During a White House press conference following a slew of sexual assault...
Tomas Torres
Ben Carson Awakens from Year-Long Fugue State; Discovers He Ran for President
Early this morning former Presidential candidate awoke at his Florida home confused and disoriented, apparently unaware of his...
Matt Stulberg
The Mass Deportation of a New Population: Trump Supports
During a recent rally in New Hampshire, presidential candidate and national drunk uncle, Donald Trump, said that starting on the first...
Matt Stulberg
Angsty Teenager Compares Life to Struggles in Syria
At Wharton High School in Millsborough, IN, 14 year old Alex Dunn announced today via text message to his best friend of nine weeks Dave...
Eric Krinick
O'Malley Bob Bop Bops to the Top With New Campaign Slogan
During the Democratic Debate on October 13, Martin O’Malley formally adopted the peppy phrase, "We're All in this Together," from the...
Sam Thompson
