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BREAKING NEWS: Elon Musk has seven sons, what’s that about?

BY: Sophia Congdon Reports are flooding in that The Squirrel has just discovered that Elon Musk has seven sons and zero daughters. They...

susquirrel

Top Republicans Insist They Aren’t Fascists, Democracy Just Isn’t Their Thing

By: ZACH SLUSSER Washington D.C. - Many high-ranking Republican officials have come out today to repudiate claims that they are ardent...

susquirrel

China Appalled with “The Fascist State of the USA”

By: MATTHEW BAMMAN Beijing, China – In a joint statement with the Communist Party of China and the National People’s Congress, President...

Tomas Torres

Trump finally lowers golf handicap

Photo by Angus Murray, Golf Magazine November 25, 2017- During a White House press conference following a slew of sexual assault...

Matt Stulberg

Ben Carson Awakens from Year-Long Fugue State; Discovers He Ran for President

Early this morning former Presidential candidate awoke at his Florida home confused and disoriented, apparently unaware of his...

Matt Stulberg

The Mass Deportation of a New Population: Trump Supports

During a recent rally in New Hampshire, presidential candidate and national drunk uncle, Donald Trump, said that starting on the first...

Eric Krinick

Angsty Teenager Compares Life to Struggles in Syria

At Wharton High School in Millsborough, IN, 14 year old Alex Dunn announced today via text message to his best friend of nine weeks Dave...

Sam Thompson

O'Malley Bob Bop Bops to the Top With New Campaign Slogan

During the Democratic Debate on October 13, Martin O’Malley formally adopted the peppy phrase, "We're All in this Together," from the...

Mitchell Roshannon

“Feel the Bern” Enters Campaign Slogan Hall of Fame

After many long weeks of consideration, Bernie Sanders’ slogan “Feel the Bern” has been added to the Campaign Slogan Hall of Fame in...

Alan Codner

The Truth About Trump's Hair Exposed

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